


My whole, lovely you.

by DarkEvenstar



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Will, Cannibalism, Domesticity, First Time, M/M, Morning Sex, Murder Husbands, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Post-Canon, Post-Episode: s03e13 The Wrath of the Lamb, Post-Series, Rimming, Suicidal Will, Top Hannibal, Violence, and all sorts of things, and murder, sex against window, will add more tags as I come up with new chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-19
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-05-21 15:43:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6057088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkEvenstar/pseuds/DarkEvenstar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To Will Graham, surviving the fall was the biggest tragedy to have ever happened, or so he thinks, as long as he feels guilty.<br/>If he can't live without Hannibal, he has to learn to live with him.<br/>Hannibal has come to realize how co-dependent they have become, mutually alive and mutually dead.<br/>This is a story of their reciprocity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> title inspiration from Alt-J's song Tessellate. (that band has quite a few Hannigram-ish songs.)  
> I'm new to writing, especially with fanfiction so I will see how this goes.  
> chapters won't be long since I usually write small metaphoric stories.

 

Hannibal’s hands are caring and tender as he pours alcohol over Will’s wounds and it stings him sharply. The sewing of them is more painful. His hands are skilled, he does it like no one else can, Will knows this. And yet, through this pain they both endure and lazily heal from, to Will the fall is still the most painful one. It stings more than any cut or stab.

The older man guides him, telling him how to dress his bullet wound, accepting each of his clumsy mistake of shaky hands with patience. They help each other eat, lay, walk… Their conversations are short and silent, almost sad. It mainly focuses around “How do you feel?” and “Does it hurt?”-s. Will’s eyes are averting, just like that of a guilty man. The clifftop house is filled with the scent of warmth and coziness. The broken windows are covered up with plastic sheets and while they do hold the heat, they don’t block out the howling of the sea wind in the nights. This makes their sleepless nights seem more hollow. While they chose to sleep side by side on the same bed in case any of them starts bleeding and needs another’s help, they remain completely silent. Hannibal prefers to lay on his back as it’s less painful, while Will chooses to lay on his side, with his back turned at the man next to him.

It takes them four days to devour all the edible, unspoiled organs of the Great Red Dragon. Hannibal takes enormous pleasure in this act and Will follows. He has yet to taste all the ways of the beauty, his obedience is silent and graceful. The meals aren’t perfect, they lack variety and dressings, but Hannibal wouldn’t let the meat spoil for the lack of aesthetics no matter how hard it is for his wounded body to accept it. It’s the Dragon they slayed, after all. The body they preserve in the basement for his later display. Will doesn’t think about it, about anything really. He follows what his instincts tell him, in this case the older man acting as his guidance.

As he lies awake at night and listens to the howling of the wind and the tides violently hitting the rocks echoing from below, he closes his eyes and tastes the salt again. He feels the darkness surrounding him, pulling at him from below. He vividly becomes breathless all over again and remembers the fear and terror of realizing it was not over, that he himself was not over and the man that he dragged along, could be. He remembers how he tugs him, how awfully long and painful it is before he pulls him up the rock and how he cries like a newborn child, pressing Hannibal’s chest over and over again, how he breathes harshly in his mouth, how he wishes he could transfer his life into that still body before him, until he moves again, coughing, holding onto life. Hannibal had never looked so human to him. No other pain could ever compare to the terror of living a life where there is no him, not anymore. This feeling isn’t entirely innocent, quite contrary, it’s nothing but selfish. For out of all the things he knows, above all truth is that they belong to each other and if Hannibal is to live, he will do his bidding and if he is to die, they are to die together.

The feelings all over again are too much to handle and he weeps. He tries to be discreet but for what end? He cries, wetting his pillow with tears as he feels Hannibal shift behind him, putting his hand on his shoulder.

“Are you in pain, Will?” He asks, concerned.

“Yes…” is his answer after a bleak moment of silence, “it hurts that you exist… That _I_ exist. You cause me so much pain and I cannot even let you die…” his voice becomes shaky and bitter “..and yet you would let me do _anything_ to you, you would let me kill you… “

Hannibal removes his hand from Will’s shoulder and lays on his back again, staring at the shadows on the ceiling. “That is because I know you would die with me.”

The words hang in the air and blend away as Will doesn’t reply. He weeps at the loss of himself, or whoever he thought he was. The darkness lies softly beside him, inside him. So calm, beautiful and consuming, yet still so dark.

Darkness itself he has become.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The discovery of each other deepens as Will finally understands his own true nature.  
> Their first sexual encounter.

After three weeks of their recovery it is time to move. They had already been in the same spot for too long and they have to make their debut. Dolarhyde’s body is kept preserved in Hannibal’s basement, where he has taken his victims and dead bodies before.

Will sits in the kitchen, wearing only his boxers and a shirt, drinking what seems to be hot tea. Hannibal approaches and sits next to him, putting a piece of paper and a pencil in front of him. He suggests they come up with the ideas of the Dragon’s display together, for it is both of their doing. The Doctor is no longer alone in this, he is excited. They discuss impaling him on antlers as if they are talking about going to the grocery store or any other normal activity. Will is surprisingly okay with this, he _likes_ this.

“Do you think antlers are too banal at this point, Will?” Hannibal asks, his forehead frowning.

“No… Why? It’s kind of like your signature now. We are doing this for the FBI anyway, they need to know it’s you. You can do that one last time, before we go. “ He sips his tea and looks at the quick sketch Hannibal has drawn of Dolarhyde impaled on antlers. “What should my signature be?”

“You need not come up with it. It has to come naturally, otherwise it loses the aesthetic and metaphoric value.“ He looks at the younger man next to him, studying his face. “Close your eyes, Will. Remember what you felt when you were killing him. Put that into a form, let your mind give it shape.”

Will obeys.

As soon as he closes his eyes he is taken back in that exact moment. He feels the taste of copper on his tongue, his heart racing with adrenaline… He’s hungry. He wants to claw at the Dragon, to bite out his organs, one by one. He remembers the smell of his blood. The moon lingers on his arms and he sheds his skin, baring himself to the Wendigo standing behind the Dragon as he stares back into his soul, amazed. He’s not ashamed and neither afraid, he has never been so pure. His arms are big and strong, deep brown and veined. His nails are sharp claws. He’s a wolf in a man’s skin.

Will lets out a loud howl as he paws at the Red Dragon before him and slices his stomach open, hot blood gushes on his arms. The Dragon shrieks, in the distance he hears the waves roaring, behind the Dragon, as he falls, he sees black antlers coated with blood, tall and victorious. The world is applauding their art and it’s beautiful… oh, so beautiful.

He opens his eyes sharply and just as he is about to tell Hannibal what he saw, he looks at the sketch of Dolarhyde he had meanwhile finished, with a big mark on his chest just like as if an animal pawed it open with three claws. Hannibal looks back at him and smiles, Will’s pupils widen in astonishment.

He has never felt this before, to be known so intimately, to be understood without words, to see and to be seen. The world as he knew before has come crashing down piece by piece and whatever he collects now builds the world anew, the world he creates alongside the man looking at him now. For if there is such a thing as a soul, theirs were forged by the same anvil.

“I love you.” Will says, unexpectedly, and without looking away or giving him time to react or say anything he grabs Hannibal by his hair and pulls him in, locking their lips viciously. He catches him with a surprise. He does not care that he is a man, a simple boundary such as this is so insignificant to what they share. Can sexuality define their intimacy? Can a simple word such as love be a boundary? Of all the ways he has allowed Hannibal to destroy him, let this be another one. There’s never enough.

The older man is struck, his eyes staring wildly at the blurring picture of Will in front of him. He feels how demanding he is, how hot his lips feel on his own, seeking dominance. This is not real, how can this be real? He wraps his arms around his back, clutching at his shirt as Will shifts his head to deepen the kiss. Hannibal gives in, opening his mouth and Will doesn’t delay. His tongue slides in his mouth violently, unsparingly, tasting anything it can touch. Hannibal fights back, biting his lower lip sharply and Will groans. He pulls at Hannibal’s hair violently and makes him bare his neck as their mouths part with a slick sound of wetness.

Will’s eyes are full of dark passion as he examines Hannibal’s exposed neck and without a warning he dives in, biting, hard enough to bruise but not enough to break his skin. He cannot do that to him at his most vulnerable state, not now. The man lets out a welcoming moan, ringing in Will’s ears like a melody. He becomes all tongue and lips, sliding across the line down his ear. He sucks and licks. His intentions are clear, he wants to mark him. As passionate he is being, he is as tender. Will is happy he acted on instincts, otherwise he would have never known if Hannibal would be willing as well, but how far can he go? He was too confident and he does not want to lose the upper hand now, all of this is torturously ecstatic. He does not want to speak, he feels like a hunter who approached the wild prey too close, but instead he went in to pet it and is moving slowly towards it not to startle it. He gets up from his chair, not letting his grip on Hannibal’s hair go, he stands above him now. He feels how hard he has become through his boxers and gives it one last daring shot. He takes the older man’s hand and slides it across his own crotch, and staring into his eyes he slides his tongue across his lips only to part them again, waiting.

Hannibal gets the hint. He slides his hand along his length through the fabric, and Will’s cock twitches, his expression betraying his need. This is all Hannibal needs to be convinced that it does not matter if it’s a dream or a reality anymore and he unexpectedly breaks free from Will’s grip, sliding down to his knees. His face is hovering over Will’s aching need, only the thin fabric separating from what’s inside. Will looks at Hannibal, and Hannibal looks at Will. Their silent exchange is all that’s left before they step into yet another gate of their newly-found world. Will strokes his cheek and the man closes his eyes tenderly. They share this moment in silence. When he opens them he is nothing but unashamed desire. He pulls Will’s boxers down all the way and giving a devouring glance all over his exposed genital as he sends it back into his mind palace, he licks it, holding it’s shaft in his grip. Will moans, still in disbelief that he started all of this.

“How can every part of you be so beautiful, Will?” Hannibal asks, as he rolls his tongue across the head.

Will can’t answer, what can he answer? Hannibal himself, in this moment , looks more beautiful than anything he has ever seen. “Aaahhh!… Hannibal!” He moans shamelessly, his voice needy.

That’s all that he needs before he is shoved entirely in Hannibal’s mouth and he suddenly sees sparkling stars in the back of his own eyes and is forced to shut them. He instinctively thrusts forward.

Hannibal sucks him, slowly at first, gradually increasing his speed. He then cups Will’s balls in one of his palm and massages them, making him whimper and hold onto the countertop not to lose his balance. With his free hand he grabs the younger man’s buttcheek, helping him deeper into his mouth.

This almost throws Will off the edge. He slides both of his hands in Hannibal’s hair, grips his head and fucks his mouth mercilessly, his voice reduced to pleasured moans and dirty cussing.

“oohh, fuuck!..Hannibal… FUCK!” He screams, throwing his head back as he comes into the back on his throat, losing himself in pleasure. For a moment he feels like he’s one with the eternity.

He pulls out, breathing hard, deprived of the ability to think or speak. He drops down on his knees and kisses Hannibal, tenderly, lovingly, tasting himself in his mouth as he wraps his arms around his neck.

Hannibal pulls him closer and when they finally break their kiss they hug, tightly.

“I could truly never predict you entirely, my dear.” Hannibal says, the last two words feeling like a lick of a tongue on Will’s throbbing heart.

The older man chuckles, Will hums a playful “hmm?” as Hannibal takes his hand and rests it on his own bulging crotch. “How selfish of you, Will.” He shifts his head to his ear and purrs. “You have to take care of this later.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess i have a passion for writing smut, cuz look at the length of this one compared to the first chapter :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "In my youth the greatest tide washed up my prize  
> You.  
> Follow, let him go, let him lead me be  
> Love is a Pharaoh, and in front of me  
> I thought: let him be where he wants to be.  
> Love is a Pharaoh and he's boning me  
> I've discovered a man like no other man...  
> I've found a love to love like no other can."   
>  \- Alt-J - Nara

_The world spins and the gush of air breaks his face, it hits so hard that cold tears roll from his eyes, or maybe it’s not the air’s doing at all. It only takes a moment but it feels like an eternity. He falls and falls and clutches at the man before him, who has accepted his demise._

_“So be it.” Hannibal sighs in resignation._

_He waits for the landing, he wants to be free of what he has become. It is his personal, last victory._

_Hannibal dies and that means he himself dies as well, for if one lives, so does the other._

_Will counts:_

_3… Hannibal has wrapped his arms around him so tightly it hurts._

_2… He feels the warmth of his body as the cold night air licks him._

_1… He hears the waves too close to them now. He involuntarily grips Hannibal tighter and closes his eyes._

_They hit the surface of the water, loud and painful._

 

Will wakes up, screaming. He sits up on the bed and massages his eyes.

Hannibal puts his hand on his chest and gently pushes him back on the bed again.

“The fall again?” He asks and cups Will’s cheek in his palm.

“Yes…” he responds, trying to catch his breath. “It’s always the fall now.”

“I see it too sometimes, but it isn’t painful. To me, in that particular moment we were cleansed of all our previous deeds towards each other. “ He puts his arm around Will and tugs him in for an embrace.” How do you imagine freeing yourself from that pain? ” His voice is husky from being woken.

Will tucks his nose under Hannibal’s chin. “I don’t know… I know it’s not your forgiveness, I’ve already received it and it’s not enough. In my acceptance of you I find it hardest to accept myself… “

“You cannot accept me without accepting who you are, Will.” He runs his fingers in the younger man’s hair.

“I know, I’m trying…”

They lie silently for a while and then Hannibal breaks the silence, almost whispering. “We should go for a hunt soon, Will. After the display, before we run. “

 “Does it have to be called a hunt?”

“What then?” the older man looks at him, questioning.

“I don’t know.” Will sighs.

“I won’t ask you to do anything you wouldn’t want to do, Will. You have already tasted the thrill of killing and you know what it feels like. Hold onto that feeling.” His voice sounds like that of a man from years ago, his psychiatrist.

Will removes himself from Hannibal’s arms and gets up from bed. “I’ll be back soon, I need some fresh air… Get some sleep.” He says and forces himself a smile.

Hannibal doesn’t reply. “ _Hold onto me.“_ he whispers in his mind.

 

This is the first night they shared in physical intimacy, they touched and kissed and sucked each other. They haven’t talked about it, even though they both know what they want without words. Their transcendence to full love-making is yet unexplored though, they have a lot to learn about that. Will has a lot to learn about… everything.  

The nights are cold, especially up here.  He wraps a blanket around himself and sits outside. He misses his dogs… and Molly? The life he had settled on?

No, that was another life. Did he truly love anyone up until now?

He searches to find a line to hold on not to be conflicted anymore, it’s horrible to be split in two. He has spent so much time hiding and faking, building up walls and images for himself.

Has he ever been happy? In his pursuit of a better life, be it in the company of his dogs or his wife, in company of his friends, anything but being alone- everything was so superficial, he always knew that but couldn’t accept it. He couldn’t accept what he had craved, why he chose the job he chose. Hannibal had dawned upon him like a god, freeing him from that deception….and how painful that dawning had been.

Was there even a point to have fought, against a god, against his own true nature? And why has Hannibal turned into a god to him anyway?  He’s a man, a mere man…

 A man he loves.

That’s it, there’s his line. How poetic, just like it suits to Hannibal’s tastes. Will smiles, lost in his thoughts. He knows he’s not a good man, no matter how hard he tries. What defines good or bad?  This new world he stepped in is so different. Every leaf, every grass is different, every word he says seems like it’s the first time. Everytime he looks at Hannibal it’s like the first, but not that first when he abruptly brushed him over like he used to do with everything, clumsily. First time, like Hannibal laid his eyes upon him.

But yet… the fall. The fall was everything.

He stands up, the blanket rolling down from his shoulders. He walks over to the edge of the cliff, slowly, carefully he looks down. In a flash he feels everything all over again, sped up, all at once. Every joint hurts, every wound cuts open. Hannibal lies dead before him. 

“ _Betrayer._ ” Abigail whispers in his mind.

“ _Traitor._ ” says his own voice. He feels the tears rolling down his cheeks.

“ _You would let our death go to waste_.” Follow the others, his friends. “ _One last time you let him down_.”

“no… no” He whispers, covering his ears to make the voices go away “ **NO!** ” He screams.

He falls to his knees, the voices all at once hissing at him, he crawls towards the edge.  A bit more and he will fall again, alone. Alone this time.

“Will!” Hannibal yells from behind, rushing to him and grabbing him roughly by his back, dragging him away. “Will! Look at me, look at me!” He takes his face in his hands. “I’m here” Hannibal’s eyes are sad, very sad, sadder than they were at Will’s last betrayal. “Don’t you dare leave me now, Will Graham.”

“N-no...never” Will collects his pieces again and then breaks down in Hannibal’s arms. “Please…” He looks into his eyes. He’s a Wendigo swallowing the light around him, drawing him in. He’s so beautiful. “Save me from myself…” He touches his shiny, black skin. “My friend…” There’s that feeling of seeing him for the first time.”My love…” His lips are like none he has seen before “ _My God_.” He kisses them and he feels safe now.

Hannibal takes him in his arms, not breaking the kiss. He is firm in his decisions, he would follow Will anywhere. He carries him into the house, sits him on a sofa, gets him a coat. Will can see clearly now, Hannibal is not a Wendigo anymore. He’s just… Hannibal.

They sit and talk, Will tells him everything he experienced. The Doctor is attentive and caring.   
  
“I will help you get through this, you still don’t know your true potential. You cannot see yourself like I do. You could start it by learning to love yourself… Love yourself for me, Will.” His aging eyes look calming.

Will smiles, looking down at the whiskey glass in his arms “It’s the hardest task you have put upon me, but I will learn to. At this point there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you, Hannibal.“

The older man kisses him again, stroking his cheek with his thumb.

Will kisses back and parts their lips again just a little. “What do you think about giving an old friend a visit, Doctor?” He almost purrs.

Hannibal backs away enough to look at him, intrigued “Who do you have in mind?”

Will’s mouth shapes a malicious smile. He looks up, straight into his eyes. His eyes are that of a hunter, intimidating and bloodthirsty. The hunter Hannibal knows he is, the one he is madly in love with.

Will leans in, bringing his lips to Hannibal’s ear and he whispers “ _Bedelia du Maurier._ ”

The older man's pupils widen in ecstasy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew,finally done with this chapter, I felt like there was still uncertainty in Will to be taken care of before he starts doing their murder husband business.  
> Things will heat up in the next one.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Me and the dragon can chase all the pain away.  
> So before I end my day, remember..  
> My sweet prince,  
> you are the one..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have developed a habit of attaching song lyrics thematically to most of the chapters and writing them while listening to them.  
> so, for this one I suggest you to listen to My Sweet Prince by Placebo.

_The red and blue lights of the police cars glimmer across the outside columns of Baltimore Museum of Art. Confused people swarm behind the police line tapes, asking around about what had happened._

_Inside the building, right in the middle of the entrance The Dragon is impaled on antlers. On his chest a big open, dry wound is gruesomely revealing what little is left inside of the body. The wound is animalistic and merciless, three claw marks ripping the flesh open._

Jack Crawford’s face is caught in utter terror as he stares at the crime scene.  After almost a month of search and sleepless nights , there it is. He does not know whether to be relieved or not that it is Francis Dolarhyde’s body they found and not Will Graham’s.

He knows what happened.

In that moment he is caught up in unrecognizable fear for the first time. His guts tell him to run and hide forever but his mind tells him there’s nowhere to run, especially now that the two sides of the same coin finally connected to make… whatever utter Hell they are to make.

Can he really blame Will Graham for this? Can he hate him? Can he ever raise his hand to strike him down, a man he cognitively broke and presented as a gift to devour to the Chesapeake Ripper? His dear friend, whose empathy got him where he is.

And can he honestly tell himself that this is not how he envisioned these two men ending up? He watched it all take shape right in front of him and no matter how much he wanted to he could never deny what he saw. The connection they had could not be defined by psychological or behaviouristic analyses.  He never questioned it, there was nothing to question.

He has to catch and destroy them if it will be the last thing he will ever do before they devour the entire world.

For if there is anyone who can do it, it’s him.

 

*

Bedelia Du Maurier was wrong to assume that Will Graham had taken Hannibal’s life for good , and neither her new fake name nor secured household could withstand the storm that had come. She should have listened to Will the last time they spoke.

And now here they are, her own entire left leg presented before her in a mesmerizing way, emitting all sorts of mouth-watering scents and her head feeling light from the drugs Hannibal had injected in her.

“I know you are hiding a knife under the table, Bedelia.” Hannibal smiles as he chews a piece of her leg. “It’s not on the table and you haven’t touched your food yet.”

Will looks at Hannibal and puts a piece of the meat in his mouth too.

“You taste delicious, as always.” Hannibal throws a teasing glance over at the younger man, not taking his eyes off of him, he continues. “ Have you been keeping a seafood diet since we parted? “

“ I did say you would eat me someday, Hannibal. “ She speaks slowly and seems to be out of this world. “ But I never agreed I would eat myself as well… “ She looks over to Will, who looks annoyed by Hannibal’s such obvious attempt to make him jealous. “However, I could never imagine Will Graham succumbed to you so entirely that he also enjoys cannibalism.”

Will smiles, sips wine from his glass and finds her gaze. “It is only cannibalism if we are equals, Bedelia.”

That sends an electric wave down Hannibal’s spine, and Will notices a spark of flame in his eyes. Satisfied, he cuts another piece and chews on it in a temptatious manner .

 To think that he would ever consider her a match and feel jealously? Hannibal must take him for a lamb... Which he isn’t, not anymore and never again.

“Do not spoil the meat.” Hannibal finds words after briefly overcoming his arousal and returning back to her. “Try it.”

Bedelia looks at her plate, a piece of her own leg on it, it looks delicious and non-human at all. She submits and takes her knife out from beneath her dress and starts cutting it, not saying anything.

Will stares at Hannibal, the scenery doesn’t seem real. How did he get here to this exact point? That is something he will never get used to. Some months or weeks ago all of this would make him sick to his stomach, some weeks ago he would want to kill or catch Hannibal and save Bedelia, instead, now he is eating her…. And now Hannibal is his lover.

_Lover._

She was his lover too once. Or could it be called that? She knew him in ways he did not know him long before Will, Hannibal allowed Bedelia to see him aswell… He used to touch her. He focuses on her taste, she is indeed delicious, especially cooked in such manner. Her meat is soft and almost sweet, easy to chew and swallow. He looks at how gracefully Hannibal puts the food in his mouth as he stares back …Maybe someday it will be his own cooked meat, he isn’t frightened about the idea.

Hannibal sees that Will is thinking, what exactly he is thinking and that he isn’t done. He swallows slowly, briefly closing his eyes in ecstasy, showing how much he enjoys the food, her taste, something he had always wanted to share.

Will takes the invitation, does the same, saviors and nibbles on the food like it’s the first or the last time he is eating. His jaws move slowly, teasingly, his eyes never leaving Hannibal’s face, swallowing slowly, his adam’s apple guiding Bedelia’s flesh deeper into his body.

This is unearthly erotic to Hannibal, he feels how his pants get tighter and tighter by each bite. Will knows that, for he also feels the same. It is although like if this exchange of silent staring and chewing contest continues he will jump on Hannibal from across the table and suck Bedelia out of his mouth when the silence is broken by her, who even though drugged, has noticed the sudden tension between them.

“I cannot deny you can make anything taste heavenly, Hannibal.” She swallows. “But my mind is not letting me fully enjoy this wonderful meal, for it is my own severed leg.”

Hannibal finishes his meal and lays down the fork and the knife. “Give it time, Bedelia. You will enjoy it entirely and much more. After all, it is you who cut it off, cooked and ate it and we were never here.” He gets up to get something from the other room. “Excuse me, I will be right back.”

Will follows him with his eyes, until he is out of his sight. He goes back to slowly sipping wine, entirely dismissing Bedelia’s presence until he notices her looking at him, mockingly.

She leans forward on the table, cupping her cheeks in her hands, her eyes drugged and expression carefree “Did you lose yourself, or did you crawl up so far in his ass you couldn’t be bothered?”

Will smiles as he lowers the glass on the table. “I have never been so true to myself before.” He pauses for a moment and looking back at her, puts his elbows on the table and cups his cheeks in his hands aswell, mirroring her pose and expression “…and if you are so interested, Dr. Du Maurier, me and Hannibal have a lot of ass crawling to do for the days to come.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally back with a new chapter, I was soo busy with studies and personal life stuff, but now i'm back and will write more often. I know this isn't much but i needed a way to approach a way of them starting their murder husband business and exploring their relationship like this in my mind and bear with me, as I've said earlier I am new to writing but I will get better, I promise! I will also write more smutty stuff next (cuz that's what i believe I am better at :D) anyway, enjoy. And thank you for all the kudos! It really means a lot.  
> Oh and p.s of you have any suggestions I will gladly accept them, I still haven't figured out everything about where im taking this.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Tonight, we're washing off the blood.  
> Tonight, tonight.  
> And I've tried to give you what you want  
> What is it that you want?  
> Day spent with not a word to say  
> Routine, red lie."
> 
> Low Roar - Tonight, tonight, tonight

Maybe there is something about Hannibal Lecter’s lips that Will can never help but stare at when being face-to-face with him… Or maybe something about his posture that radiates such grace that even the wildest and purest of animals cannot compare to… Or maybe it is his unbelievably tidy hair, each little string in its rightful place, even when they aren’t.

Something about this man standing before him, his personality so true and so unexplored, his pupils wide with pure excitement that of a child, awaiting Will’s reaction to the place he has just brought him in… Something, or maybe everything even, stirs his insides in the most frustrating and unsatisfying ways. It feels like a hunger that is impossible to sedate, a hunger so strong he could literally eat him raw.

Will wonders if Hannibal feels the same way about him and smiles earnestly, nodding in approval after briefly looking around the simple, yet expensive and tastefully furnished half-wooden house Hannibal has brought him in. The living room is cold and Hannibal starts working about getting the fire going in the fireplace while Will uncovers the windows.

They are in Canada. Crossing the border wasn’t hard, Hannibal is that good at that. Will finds himself amazed at how many alternatives the older man has for everything, how many more places has he inhabited and if there is a place at all that he hasn’t touched. The house is somewhat reminiscent of his old house back in Wolf Trap, except this one is bigger, three stories high instead of two and the top one wide open with glass walls from three sides. The house is of course fairly far from the nearest town but there is a small lake nearby which they can overlook if they pass a little forest and then climb down the hill. This place is surrounded by snow-top mountains and the air is colder too, but he likes this, the cold and the nature and this isolation from everyone and just Hannibal beside him. If they were a normal couple they could grow old here, have a couple of dogs, a cat too maybe. They would fish in the lake and explore the place, hunt for birds and other little animals. Make friends in the town pubs, invite them over, go on road trips… Were they normal maybe Abigail would have been here too…

But they are not, and they will always be on the run, everywhere until the world seems too small and round, until there is nowhere else to run. They will be constantly on the verge of fear and gamble of losing one another, or _killing_ one another.

And they will hunt, but not for birds or animals.

Maybe this is just right, maybe they are normal after all.

 

The evening approaches and the house is warm and cozy now, all tidy and livable. They sit by the fireplace, Will’s head tucked in Hannibal’s neck and his arm around his waist.

“I miss my dogs.” He says.

“I imagine as much,” Hannibal smiles. “is that all that you miss?”

Will lifts his head and looks up at Hannibal, raising an eyebrow “ ‘I miss Molly and Walter too’ is what you want to hear?”

“No, it is entirely opposite of what I want to hear.”

“Then you’re searching for a reason to kill them.” He returns his head in his previous position.

Hannibal strokes the younger man’s hair “That I already have”

“Then you are expecting me to try and convince you otherwise, you like to see me beg.” he places a gentle kiss on Hannibal’s neck, then up his cheek. His stubble feels rough against his lips, he has never kissed a being so perfectly mixed of rough and gentle.

Hannibal turns his head and looks Will in the eyes and Will instinctively runs his eyes down to his lips, then up again. (Eyes are distracting, after all.)

“I will not do anything you ask me not to do, Will.”

“And would you do anything I asked you to do?” He leans closer, stopping just before their lips touch.

“Anything.” Hannibal wraps his hands around Will’s thighs and sits him on his lap.

“Have I bewitched you so?” Will chuckles, cupping the doctor’s cheeks in his hands and kissing him softly.

“You have power over me, Will.”

“Is that your way of saying you love me?”

“I have been saying it ever since you became my patient.” He kisses his neck. Will closes his eyes as Hannibal licks down and sucks on his flesh. “You just were not attentive enough …”

A soft moan escapes Will’s throat as Hannibal brushes his fingers across his crotch and makes it painful for his penis to erect through the restraints.

Hannibal hesitates for a moment, his face frowns as if in pain, serious all of a sudden. “I would _love_ to fuck you, Will. ” He says and looks into his eyes. “ I want to have you entirely… I have thought about fucking you since the moment I laid my eyes on you. I never missed a chance to admire your shapely body, every curve of your perfect physique…I wanted to bend you over on my office table, to have you on my kitchen counter. I touched myself thinking of you. I even thought of taking advantage of you when you were unconscious in front of me, I can’t deny that, Will. It took all my self-control to refrain…” Hannibal’s hands travel down Will’s waist to the small of his back and finally rest on his ass. “But I would rather kill you than have you without your consent.“

Hearing those lips utter such words does something unearthly and even if their lives depended on it  Will would not be able to say no.

“Hannibal, I have never...”He manages not to sound entirely submitted. “Not with a man.” He blushes.

“I know.” The doctor smiles. “Would you let me? It can hurt but I can make it feel good, if you trust me. I can turn that pain into pleasure, I want to show you… I can-“ Hannibal tries to find the right words.

“He’s nervious.” Will thinks to himself. For the first time in his life he sees him wordless, undone. He forgot that Hannibal, just as well as him, was born anew on that fateful night. That for him also what they share is new and unknown, one thing he has no control over. It arouses Will beyond measure.

“You haven’t asked permission the last time you penetrated my body. “ Will takes his lover’s hand and puts it on his own stomach. Hannibal averts his eyes, lowering his eyelids. “Of all the ways you have hurt me, Hannibal, that is a pain I will cherish the most.” The older man’s grip on Will’s ass tightens.  “It took you so long to ask…”

Hannibal’s eyes flare with lust and he crushes his lips to Will’s, sudden and rough, their breath becoming hard and messy.  Will’s mouth almost instantly opens to Hannibal’s tongue and he shifts his face to the side to get a deeper angle, his hands start undoing the older man’s buttons and Hannibal breaks the kiss briefly to bring Will’s sweater above his head.

Will softly pushes him back.

“Take me upstairs.”

Hannibal obeys, he gets up and takes Will with him, gripping his ass strongly with his hands. Will wraps his legs around Hannibal and holds onto him.

They stumble and slowly make their way towards the stairs and stop, Hannibal pushes Will against the wall where his coat is hanging. As he kisses him he releases one hand to search for something in his coat’s pocket. “It’s all I have now…” He shows Will a small pack of lube.

“It will suffice.” Will bites his lower lip and before Hannibal manages to growl and bite back he frees from his grip and runs upstairs.

When they reach the third floor they are fully undressed. The room is a bit colder than the one downstairs with the fireplace and all. But the view from here is magnificent, there’s the dark forest in front of them, a big set of mountains and the clear night sky.

The moon is full, it shines brightly in the bare room, as bare as they are.

Hannibal hugs Will from behind, he smells him behind his ear. Once he smelled sickness in him, other times he masked his own smell with cheap aftershave. Now he smells of fancy shampoo but he can still smell his unique scent underneath it, a smell Hannibal has made his own. He slides his hand down Will’s stomach, running his fingers across his scar.

“I love you so much…” He says and kisses his neck.

“Me too. I love you too.” Will whispers.

Hannibal’s hand moves downward and slowly strokes his hardened penis. Will moans and put his arm behind him to grip Hannibal by his hair, urging him closer.

Hannibal pushes him from behind, bringing him forward to the full window, pinning him between his hot body and the cold glass. His own penis tucked between Will’s buttcheeks. They rock like this for some time, the cold glass soothes Will’s throbbing penis a little, the glass stains where his cheek is pressed on it as he whimpers.

Hannibal puts the lube packet between Will’s teeth and goes down on his knees. “Hold that for me.”

He opens his ass with his hands and licks his balls. Will moans a muffled moan through his teeth and arches his back, giving Hannibal a better angle.

Hannibal’s tongue eventually makes his way up to his entrance and the feeling is the most shameful, exposed and dirty pleasure he has ever felt. The tongue runs circles around the tight ring of muscle, pushes  a deserving  set of moans out of Will’s throat as it gently pushes into it and drives him insane. Hannibal moans greedily as he eats him out, his mouth emitting sounds of wetness, dirtiness, unashamed sexuality.  He then rises, pulls the packet out from Will’s teeth, grabs his chin and and kisses him deeply.  He opens the packet and coats his fingers in the lube, then forces Will to arch his back even more and slightly bends him over, not allowing his penis to touch the glass anymore. He then pours the remaining lube down between his ass and pushes one finger inside of him slowly.

It feels weird. Will can feel the finger move inside of him, in and out at first. Then it starts going in circles and it burns, it feels so strange, so little and teasing. He then suddenly feels empty and now two fingers are slowly entering him. His entrance stretches, he involuntarily clenches the muscles and it hurts him. He groans.

“Relax.” Hannibal orders and Will obeys.

The fingers breach him inside, each of them open side to side, up and down. Something touches him briefly somewhere, to his mind so deep in his core that it makes him shudder, his penis twitches and drips a thin string of pre-cum. Oh it feels good, definitely, very differently good.

Now three fingers are inside of him and Will moans, he can’t see outside the glass now, it’s all stained with his breath. Once more Hannibal brushes his prostate and Will screams, greedily rocks backwards on his fingers and demands to be filled. The stretch stings so bad, yet the warmth and fullness inside feels so good. He does not know which side is better and it all feels not enough.

“Please! OOH!”

“Yes?” Hannibal brings his lips close to his ear and holds him by his stomach with one hand while letting Will fuck himself on his other hand.

“Oh, fuck. Hannibal! Please…” Will’s voice breaks, he begs.

“Tell me. Say it.” Hannibal’s voice also gives his unearthly lust away, he sounds almost evil.

“Oh God!   _fuck_ me, please!”

Hannibal pulls his fingers out all at once, making Will whimper at the sudden emptiness. He runs his wet hand down his own penis and then pushes into him all at once. Will gives in, it hurts so bad.

It hurts so _right_.

Tears roll down on his cheeks. Just a couple of seconds and Hannibal is fully inside. Will is tight, painfully tight. They take their time to nourish on their mutual pain and only when Hannibal feels it’s time to move, he moves.

Slowly, gently he pulls out. Will presses himself firmly on the glass. Hannibal pushes inside again.

They do it slowly until Will feels something burn inside of him, overpowering any sort of pain. He pushes himself backwards and throws his head behind, letting out a long and mind-throbbing “ _Aaaahhhhh!!_ ”

Hannibal almost loses himself at that and presses his body strongly against Will and fucks him faster. Will’s penis slides across the glass and stains it with pre-cum.

Hannibal’s pace increases and at this point there is no trace of pain left in any of them. Hannibal feels this is not enough, he pulls Will by his hair and bites his neck. His teeth break skin and he tastes his blood. Will screams and urges him to move faster, perfectly matching his speed and the older man grunts and moans as he tastes him. Will has earned it now. Hannibal pulls back, pushes Will’s head firmly against the glass and fucks him so strong that Will feels like the window would break and just as he thinks that there can’t be more, and that he is about to burst, Hannibal grips his penis and strokes it fast and tight, then he skillfully hits his prostate. Once, twice, three times. Will’s eyes roll back in his head, his knees feel weak.

 He cums all over himself and the window. He’s deaf for a moment but he can feel his own throat emitting sounds he never knew he could. Fourth time and he feels something hot fill him up inside and he hears how Hannibal sounds when he’s broken, his whole body feels hot as hellfire.

In his mind an eternity passes in pleasured spasms and oversensations before finally Hannibal pulls out, Will feels how his cum drips out of him and runs down his legs. He is about to fall when Hannibal catches him tight, brings them both down to the floor and slowly sits him in his lap.

“I’m sorry about that…” Hannibal looks at Will’s bleeding neck, then gently licks it.

“Don’t be.” Will’s throat hurts. Only now he realizes how much he screamed.

“Let’s go take a bath, my love.” Hannibal’s voice is tender and caring. Will feels so safe in his arms.

“Yes, I would like that…” He smiles. “But I might fall asleep in there.”

Hannibal laughs. “I will make sure you will get a good night’s sleep tonight.”

Will puts his head against Hannibal’s shoulder as he looks up to the moon through his cum-stained glass. “You already did.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back again with an entire chapter of smut and domesticity.  
> It was fun to write this.  
> will be back with more action next time :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Will you come along? 'cause I'm about to leave this town,  
> In my eyes, a waterfall, all I can hear, a siren call.  
> Could you be waiting by the shore, oh I could drown without you  
> Will you be holding out the line when I fall?"
> 
>  
> 
> \- Woodkid feat. Lykke Li - Never Let You Down.

The mornings here are magical. The fog consumes the ground while the mountains pierce the air with their graceful tallness. They stand proud amidst slow civilization, their snowy whiteness impossible to tread. The air is strict too, sometimes heavy with moist particles, sometimes delightful and fresh to breathe. 

The forest slowly wakes too, one bird daring enough to utter the first note chirps, and then others follow.

in this slow pace of awakening, the two men lie side by side and cuddle. This particular morning is different and pure. Will suddenly feels something unfamiliar as he runs his fingers across Hannibal's bare chest.

He is happy. The feeling explodes in his chest, it feels too strange, new, wrong, right - all at once. But he nourishes on it. He has already decided that only now matters, not what was or what will be. Only now and there. Even if the happiness is temporary, even if everything shall pass - their love will never perish. Not after death or thousand lives.

That is enough.

"Yesterday we were falling again." Will gently purrs and his husky voice overpowers the sounds of birds outside.

Hannibal frowns and looks at the window. He doesn't reply.

"Don't worry." Will shifts and slowly places himself on top of him, his curls brush over the older man's forehead. "It doesn't hurt anymore. It feels... calm." He kisses his eyelids. "I focus on your body, and I feel safe." 

Hannibal slides his hand in Will's hair and pulls him closer, their lips stop just a breath away.

"I hear your thoughts, what you feel for me ... and... I think I don't hate myself as much."

Hannibal kisses him. Slowly and gently at first, cherishing each touch and movement. Their arousal sneaks in just as slow, numb at first, growing, then hurting, and then so maddening it feels like claws - just like their love and how they got there.

And then they are all over each other, it feels like the fall but it is consensual, burning and painfully aching.

As they pull moans, whines and groans from each other's throats, the morning fog creeps away, and by the time the sun tingles upon their skin through their windows, Hannibal has already planted himself deep in his lover. Tight and painful, their saliva serving as the only stingy helper. But Will is demanding, this morning belongs to him. He rocks on top of Hannibal, pleasuring himself in the right places. Hannibal doesn't push him, he isn't trying to manipulate him, doesn't try to drive him mad. Not now, for once in a while Will deserves his ways.

The doctor observes how the younger man fucks himself on his dick, shamelessly moaning with a husky voice, his legs spread wide open. He's so fucking exposed, jerking himself off, cussing.  His skin looks appetizing in the sunlight. All his veins on his neck twitch. He looks transparent.  To think all of this belongs to Hannibal alone, that no other man or woman would ever achieve receiving all of that from Will Graham - the most unique human in the entire world, that thought in itself could make him cum alone.

"Mmmhhh! Inside me... find it" Will demands, his voice reveals how close he is to release. Hannibal groans. He grabs Will's thighs and holds him in place, then moves himself upwards, angling himself differently and then lets go, lowering him slowly, impaling him deeper. And he finds it, that sweet spot. it doesn't even take a thrust, Will's come dribbles all over Hannibal's stomach, he delights momentarily, but he doesn't stop there. He kisses Hannibal deeply and bites his lips fiercely. And he moves and moves, not giving in to the oversensation. Hannibal needs just a nudge to explode, but his nature still crumbles through his restraints, and he tries his best to resist as long as he can.

Too late, Will has him in his grip now, he moves closer to Hannibal's ear. "Someday, I will fuck you hard... And your... carefully controlled dominance will shatter in my hands." Will moves faster, his head feels dizzy and his vision becomes blurred . "And I swear, Hannibal... You... You will not be above begging..."

Hannibal's throat escapes a muffled moan. 

"But for now... come, come in me." He puts his forehead on Hannibal's and gives a last, long thrust downwards, entirely burying his lover's dick inside of him.

And just like that, Hannibal comes.

 

 ****

"I have already told this to least fifteen different officers, and I will say it again: Nobody did this, it was not them... him. I took the drugs Hannibal used to inject in me, I had become depended. I... I did everything. I didn't think clearly. The world was a mess... 

I remembered the things he taught me. I thought we were in Florence and he was my husband and I was lost. I was so scared... I had to obey him... But he was in my head. And Will Graham was there too, in Florence. I.... I need help..."

Bedelia starts crying. Jack observes her from another room.

Same story, over and over again, even the words don't change.

She is skilled, she has done this before and he knows she will get away with it this time aswell.

Is it because she fears for her life, or is it because she is still in the game? Even when she has to live with one of her limbs missing... She's only postponing the inevitable. Bedelia was marked long ago.

But what is Jack doing exactly? They slipped away from right under his nose again.

He leaves work early that day.

He hasn't moved from his house, as if doing that would change anything. The place still smells like Bella, and he will cherish it until his death... whenever it comes.

As he enters his living room he is greeted by Winston. The dog looks older, less lively, but lively nonetheless. The place seems less hollow with him by his side. Just Molly visiting him sometimes.

"Hey there,boy! How are you doing? Miss me?" Jack scratches him behind his ear. The dog responds with a happy bark and follows him to the kitchen.

"Here you go." He puts a plate of dog food on the floor and Winston buries his nose in it instantly.

Jack opens the fridge and gets a beer, then goes back to the living room and sits on a sofa. He turns the TV on, even though he is not really going to watch anything.

His thoughts are constantly gnawing at him, back in his mind and heart. He has physically changed too, he has lost weight and seems sleepless most of the time.

Winston finishes eating and makes himself comfortable beside Jack on the sofa. The evenings are usually like this nowadays, silent and short, before Jack goes back to work way too early in the morning, hours before the sun pierces the darkness.

The dog sighs and whimpers in his sleep. How much has the world changed.

"I know.... I miss him too." Jack puts his arm around Winston "We'll find him... One way or another."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had this in my draft for a while now, unfinished. Got around to it somehow, life is busy. Bull I'll manage.


End file.
